Crafting, My Walk, Uncategorized

To Journal or Not to Journal, That is MY Question

Pinterest is an amazing thing, and by amazing I mean an unimaginable time-sucking, black hole of inspiration that can either brighten a person’s day, or cause them despair over their own lack of creativeness.

The other day while I was wasting time  taking a break and scanning the latest pins on Pinterest, I came across this post on Bible journaling. Every time I see a post about journaling, it sets a fire inside my heart.

want to journal my Bible study. I need to journal my Bible study.

We’ll forget for a moment how horrible I am about remembering to journal, and instead focus on the small fact I can never decide what I want this amazing, important, and useful study tool to actually look like. I can’t even get past the bare bones of how I want it set up, so there is no reason to fret about actually using it, right?

Some people say that a plain composition book is all you need, while others have a much more aesthetically pleasing idea. I’m pretty sure my inner-librarian (the same one who cringes every time I force myself to hi-light a particularly meaningful verse in my Bible) would have a flat out panic attack if I journaled like this.

I know writing down my thoughts while I’m sitting at the feet of the LORD is important, and it would be a great way to reflect later on what I’d learned and where that knowledge took me. I just can’t seem to get past my own perfectionist tendencies that bog me down in the details instead of the big picture.

Do you journal? What kind of book do you use? Is it a handmade one, a spiral notebook you pulled out of your cabinet or a composition book you picked up at the office supply store? Do you decorate it and make it artistically appealing, or is it just your words and impressions on a white paper?

As always, I will turn to the LORD for answers to this problem, and maybe I should avoid Pinterest before it causes me even more confusion. 🙂

Blessings in the LORD,

Sare

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Fellowship, In the Beginning, My One Word, My Walk

My One Word: Fellowship.

“But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

Our LORD is amazing and He works in ways we couldn’t begin to imagine. He has a plan for my life, and even though I’m not sure yet what that plan is, I know it will be amazing.

When I first chose FELLOWSHIP as my word for this year, I didn’t know what it would mean. Honestly, I’m still not one-hundred percent sure what it means or what it will mean at the end of 2015. What I do know is that I’m already seeing evidence of God’s work on me through it.

My husband and I have been attending our church since the first Sunday we were in town–so just over a year now. Our church has an active military group who meet twice a month for fellowship and study. During the last year I’ve interacted with most of the people in this group, yet never once was I aware of the FELLOWSHIP that was available. Then, this past Sunday, my husband and I were invited to join the others.

It was TIME.

A month ago, I probably wouldn’t have been open and receptive to the invitation. It was socializing, and what was even more deterring, it was socializing with other military families. Something I’ve been known to shy away from, because of a number of bad experiences in the past.

This week, my heart was open and waiting. I heard the voice inside whisper, “This is for you. Say yes.”

On Monday my husband and I, along with our two children went to our first small group fellowship, and in so many ways it was right. It filled my cup with laughter and joy. We discussed upcoming studies, and it was refreshing to know others going through the same things I was.

After an emotionally draining day, God knew exactly what I would need. He opened a door for me, and I walked through it. I can’t wait for what He’ll teach me through this experience with FELLOWSHIP.

Do you have a particular moment of Fellowship that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear about it.

Prayers to you and yours,

Sare

Faith, God's Beauty, My One Word, My Walk

A Year of Walking in Faith

For those of us who don’t plan on being awake at midnight tonight, tomorrow begins the first day of a brand new year. I’ll have to remember to write 2015 at the tops of my school papers and just when I get used to that it’ll be 2016. Such is the ongoing cycle of life.

This past year has been filled with experiences, both good and bad. I began the year, not with a list of resolutions, but with a single word to focus myself throughout the twelve months of 2014. As many of you who have followed my admittedly sporadic posts know my word for 2014 was FAITH.

When I chose FAITH, I didn’t know how it would affect my life. I just knew that after prayerful consideration I felt led to choose it. Through those five little letters I grew and changed just as the seasons around me did. I learned more about myself, about God, and about the wonderful strength having a little bit of FAITH can bring.

Things happened during the year I’m not yet free to speak about, and truthfully might never be. However, I know, without a doubt, that without the LORD and FAITH I wouldn’t have made it through without a lot worse scars. I wouldn’t have had the strength to face the pain, the horror, and the heartbreak that hit my family. I wouldn’t have had the strength to stand strong for my family.

What started out as a word, became a living experience each day. FAITH was no longer just a word, but a natural part of who I now am. Each day my FAITH grows stronger and deeper. As I watch people I know change and become more bogged down in the world, my FAITH in God and His plans grows. As our society tears itself apart at the seams with racial tensions and anti-law enforcement protests, I have a strong FAITH in the plans the LORD has. I can’t explain the reasons, or why FAITH is so important, I just know it is.

I started out the year with no answers to the problems facing the world today, and I still don’t have them. What I do have though, is a FAITH in a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He carries the burdens of the world, so that we don’t have to. Is every day sunshine and lollipops? No, but they are made brighter by the unconditional love and forgiveness the LORD has given me.

So as 2014 fades away into the darkness and 2015 rises into the light, I have prayerfully considered what word will guide me through the coming year.

I am not a particularly social person, and I prefer my own company or the company of my husband and children to that of others. I prefer the solace of my home to the bustling energy of public gatherings, but regardless of these facts, I feel God has led me to focus on FELLOWSHIP in whatever ways He decides throughout the year.

I have no doubt that the next twelve months will be just as educational and enlightening for me as the last twelve were. I look forward to each lesson God will teach me and pray that I never turn my back on His teachings.

With Prayer and Love for you in the New Year,

Sare

“For to us a child was born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

Faith, My One Word, My Walk, The Kiddos, The Kiddos

Why I’m Not a Perfect Mom

Photo Credit: Pinterest (Unknown)
Photo Credit: Pinterest (Unknown)

There are many reasons why I’m not a perfect mom, and why I won’t hold out hope that someday I’ll suddenly become that mother who ‘does it all’. You know the kind of mother portrayed in Leave it to Beaver. Perfectly dressed, make-up on, and not a hair out of place. The house would always be neat and orderly, the kiddos would always be polite and presentable, and I’d be excited to host dinner parties for my husband’s business associates. This of course would all come after I made three course meals for my children and made sure they were involved in all the right social circles.

I’m honest enough and realistic enough to know that won’t happen. Not only am I more comfortable in a pair of yoga pants than I’ve ever been in a dress and make-up, my hair tends to remain in a messy knot on my head. I don’t like the feel of it on my neck and I don’t have the patience to create some intricate style that wouldn’t stay in place while I chased my eighteen month old son around or snuggled with my seven year old daughter.

As for dinner parties, those are so not going to happen. I’m almost positive God’s plan for me doesn’t include being a society maven. My idea of a party is snuggling under a blanket in my pajamas, reading a good book and drinking tea.

There have been times in recent years when I’ve wished I were designed for perfection. Where I wish I didn’t have my quirks. In those moments I spent too much time cataloging the reasons I am not a perfect mom.

I’m not a perfect mom, because I’m a perfectionist. I’m very ‘type A’ when it comes to the completion of anything. From projects to keeping the house organized. I often feel sorry for my daughter (and eventually my son), because I’m the mother that requires rooms to be neat and toys to be returned to their proper place when they’re not in use. The house is not a bounce house designed for jumping and screaming, and there is no playing outside without supervision–regardless of what the neighbor kids get to do.

I’m not a perfect mom, because I am an introvert. My perfect home would be far away from neighbors, have a lot of land for my children to play on, and have a fence to keep people away. Now, I’m not saying I’m completely a hermit, but the ability is there. Whenever I’m around people I seem to internalize their emotions and their energy. It takes me days to recuperate after any social event. My daughter on the other hand is an extrovert. She loves people, and going and doing. She very rarely needs time to recharge away from people, and is happier when she has social interaction all the time.

I’m not a perfect mom, because I am hormonal. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, and that means living in a state where people forget what the sun is makes me melancholy and irritable.

I am not a perfect mom, but I also know that’s okay. I know that the LORD has a plan for me, and that he’s in control. He knows what I need, even if I don’t.

I’m not a perfect mom, but  each day I strive to be a better mom than I was the day before. Each morning I pray for strength, wisdom, and guidance. I pray for help navigating the path of parenthood. I pray for understanding and that my children and I will grow together in our faith.

I’m not a perfect mom, but I am a forgiven mom. I am a saved mom, and I am a faithful mom. Every day may not go the way I hope it will, but it goes the way it needs to go. Each day I learn something new.

Each and every day I try to be a little less of a perfectionist. I make the effort to get my daughter into social situations so that she can thrive. I do what I can to control my hormones, and to control my mood. The point is, I’m not perfect, but I’m me. I’m following God, and doing what I can for my children.

“As for God, His way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him.” Psalm 18:30

May the LORD bless you,

Sare

Girl Scouts, My Walk, Parenting, The Kiddos

Dunking for Jesus

My daughter just became a Daisy in Girl Scouts, and she did this in time for the tail end of cookie sales. So, of course, I took the cookies to the Women’s Bible Study at my church.

While there, both of our Pastors purchased a couple of boxes for their families. After doing so, we sat around with Pastor R and he said something that still makes me laugh.

Since we’re Baptist and everyone knows that Baptists love food, we’ve decided that Girl Scout cookies seem like the perfect thing to use during our private prayer time. Take a box of cookies, a glass of milk, and your Bible into your prayer closet (or where ever you go for your quality time with the LORD), and for every prayer you dunk a cookie.

Pastor R called it Dunking for Jesus.

Granted, he wasn’t serious, but it made my day. I think that during any walk with God, there needs to be some humor–and cookies. Preferably, Thin Mints or Samoas. 😉

And, in case you’re wondering–between that Women’s Bible Study and the Marines who work with my husband, my daughter sold 84 boxes of cookies. Not too bad for only doing it at the tail end of cookie season.

Have a Blessed Monday,

Sare

My Walk

Listening to the LORD

I’m new to this whole prayer, Bible reading, and listening to what the LORD is saying to me. Often times (okay, pretty much all the time) I feel like I’m never going to get it. I feel His presence in my heart, like the sun warming my skin after the cold, but I don’t ever really ‘get’ what he’s saying.

I’ve prayed about this daily, and it’ll probably remain in my prayers for years to come, because I really do want to understand the words being spoken to my heart. I need to understand where I’m supposed to go, the lessons I’m supposed to learn, and the life I’m supposed to live.

Mostly, I feel like I need an interpreter.

Does anyone know of a “Voice of God” interpreter I could make use of?

Recently, while reading my daily selection for the Bible in a year reading plan I’m on, my Bible had a study guide for “Hearing the Lord”.

Excellent.

I was overjoyed and ecstatic the LORD had visibly shown me a sign. For the first time, I think I ‘heard’ Him. I’m of course, making use of the verses listed within that study, which leads to more praying, and more listening, so I have hope that one day all those warm rays of light hitting my heart will make sense to me.

Until then, I guess I’ll just enjoy the peace my time with God brings me each day, and keep looking for an interpreter.

Blessings,

Sare

Parenting

Building Character One Tooth at a Time

My son is eight months old, and is cutting teeth. Of course, like with everything my son does, he can’t do it part way. He isn’t interested in cutting just one tooth, but four. He is working on having eight teeth inside his once gummy little mouth. Some times, this isn’t bad, but there are times when those tiny little teeth get the best of him (and me).

This morning, Boy Wonder woke up just shy of the 2 AM mark. A time not meant for anyone to be up. Even after a bottle, diaper change, and snuggles he couldn’t be comforted and would melt down in volcanic proportions. These things always seem to happen when my husband is away from home. He hasn’t ever experienced the all night wake ups with our children. That is an experience they’ve saved just for me.

So, there we were snuggled in my bed, him giggling and kicking his legs at the cat– who was inching her way to the pillows–and me humming (possibly whimpering) softly to him in the hope he would show signs of sleepiness, when it hit me.

I am truly blessed.

Before I started this journey, I wouldn’t have felt this way in the wee hours of the morning. I would have felt irritation, frustration, and sleepiness. Not blessed. It’s amazing how things have changed.

 

Yes, I would have loved to have slept through the entire night like we usually do, but in that moment the only thing important was the tiny little person God had entrusted to my care. This was reiterated this morning when after barely three hours of sleep, my little man once again became inconsolable. With a lack of sleep and a migraine, having already finished my volunteering in my daughter’s classroom, I came home to a little boy who couldn’t understand the pain he was in.

After much snuggling, the demise of my favorite necklace at the hands of an unhappy boy, and many meaningless sounds of comfort, my son once again found his happy. While we were curled together on the futon, the cries turned to giggles and a tiny smile formed. In these moments I knew, without a doubt, this is what life is about. Being with my child while he is miserable, to experience that one moment of joy when the pain lessens and he can once again smile. I wouldn’t trade it for all the sleep in the world.

I am blessed, because the LORD sees something in me that I don’t often see in myself. He sees comfort from the pain of teething, and a love that is unconditional.

Blessings,

Sare