encouragement, Faith, listen, My One Word, Relationships, Wisdom

I am Human

Anxiety can make you feel like you’re all alone in a room full of people, while simultaneously drowning you in wave after wave of everyone else’s needs and wants. I’m not sure when I first experienced anxiety, but I’m pretty sure I was in elementary school. Possibly as early as first grade. It likely reared up the same time as the pecking order at recess.

I do know, it hasn’t gotten better with time or maturity. Instead, it ebbs and flows, but never really goes away. The older I get, the more I notice it in my everyday life. It is no longer confined to the moments of show-and-tell, reading aloud, class projects, or being called on to answer a question. Now it is present anytime I have to be around people other than my immediate family. It happens when I know I have to run errands, change my routine, or participate in a social engagement for my children. It even happens in online discussion groups in college. The day I found out my school was moving from chat boxes to video conferencing for our class meetings, I had an epic anxiety attack. I don’t do videos, or anything that requires me to record my voice. At least not voluntarily, or without a whole lot of stress and, you guessed it, anxiety.

Though I pray about it continually, the panic and anxiety rarely disappears completely. Since the birth of my youngest, what once started out as a moderate inconvience has become something almost debilitating in its occurance. Sundays have become a struggle, because I’m torn between the need to fellowship and worship the LORD, and the desire to hide away because of the panic squeezing my heart.

Add this anxiety to the SAD that plagues me, and there are many days when the only place I want to be is curled up under a warm blanket. This might seem like a good way to spend a day, and it is when it is a choice. When it isn’t a choice the joy that would normally come with it is missing.

I have faith the LORD will help me through this season of life. He will give me the strength when I am weakest. I just need to remember to give it to Him. I am only human.

Blessings,

Sare

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encouragement, listen, My One Word, My Walk, Wisdom

2017: Listen

In December of each year, I prayerfully focus on what word will be my focus during the upcoming year. Each year this single word keeps me focused, not on myself, but on God’s will for me. This year, that word is LISTEN. It’s such a small word. Just six letters, but it will be a tool during the next twelve months to help me focus on the LORD.

Each day when I wake up, I’ll pray He will use it to teach me, to guide me through the day. This one little word will be a reminder each day–not only to listen to Him, but to listen to my body and to those around me. This year is a time to truly listen to Him, to be silent so I can really hear His words. It is a time for less talking and more listening.

I’m blessed to have the  love of the LORD, and to get this time to worship Him through this One Word.

Blessings,

Sare

Faith, My One Word, My Walk

Nehemiah A Heart That Can Break

My church does a Women’s Bible Study every Tuesday morning, and for the last seven weeks we’ve been studying the book of Nehemiah. LifeWay offers the study guide, Nehemiah A Heart That Can Break (Kelly Minter), and it is an amazing book full of insight and humor.

At the beginning of the study we were asked what God had put on our heart, and I really didn’t know,  I wasn’t even sure how to hear God speaking to me. I just kept feeling that children were somehow involved.

Then, the other day as we were finishing up the course, after weeks of praying for a heart of compassion like Nehemiah’s, and asking the LORD to lead me in the direction I needed to go, I finally realized just how much what God had put on my heart had grown and BECOME something.

The LORD answers prayers, and even though he answered mine in a way I had never expected, (I’d been envisioning helping at soup kitchens or in the questionable parts of town where little kids and babies are so often in need), I knew immediately that he had spoken, and I needed to listen and obey.

My life for the foreseeable future is going to be amazing, and scary, and at times I’m sure it will be a battle. I’m also sure I’ll spend a lot of time turning to the LORD in prayer, asking for guidance and help. I’ll also be getting a lot out of my ONE word, FAITH.

So dear readers, keep my family in your prayers as we begin this new adventure with the LORD, and if you’re looking for an interesting and exciting study, check out Nehemiah. You won’t regret it.

Blessing,

Sare