Today, I'm feeling great, and that knowledge can lull me into a false sense of security. It can cause me to forget the way I feel when it isn't sunny and beautiful. Sunlight therapy isn't enough, and neither is the medication I gave in and started taking two years ago. I need God to help me through this, the same way I need Him in every aspect of my life.
Three days ago we scattered my father's ashes in the Puget Sound. A place he'd always loved. The week leading up to the memorial was rough and emotions ran high with everyone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole thing and keep my father's ashes on my shelf, because as soon as they were removed from their place of honor, lonliness enveloped me. He'd been there since February, a constant companion in my home. It was time to let him go, but I wasn't sure I was ready.
Even if it makes me out to be "overly-sensitive", I will not confuse my children by participating, or allowing them to participate in something that at the very core marks what is wrong with our society. Words and actions affect people. The date on the calendar doesn't change that.
Since my word this year is Fellowship, I've been contemplating friendships: how they're formed, how they're nourished, and how they fade away.