Having four children, three of them under six, hasn't magically morphed me into Mary Poppins either. If anything, motherhood seems to have pushed me even further into territory more fitting of Batman than a loving Christian mother.
Today, turning to the LORD hasn't been as spiritually lifting as it usually is. Instead of answers I have more questions. Instead of peace, I have unstoppable tears.
Three days ago we scattered my father's ashes in the Puget Sound. A place he'd always loved. The week leading up to the memorial was rough and emotions ran high with everyone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole thing and keep my father's ashes on my shelf, because as soon as they were removed from their place of honor, lonliness enveloped me. He'd been there since February, a constant companion in my home. It was time to let him go, but I wasn't sure I was ready.
Some days are easier than others. There are great days, and then there are days when I'd rather never get out of bed again. On those days even sunshine doesn't seem as bright, and I am reminded just how imperfect I really am.
On January 31, 2015, my father passed away. In the last few months he had become someone I didn't recognize--the man with strong convictions and an analytic mind had disappeared. In his place was someone who was angry, and emotional. In all my years growing up I can count on one hand the number of… Continue reading Heal My Heart, LORD
My daughter is an amazing person. She has a wonderful heart, loves her brother, and loves to give to others. As a person she is more than I ever could have hoped for. Her beauty comes from within and radiates from her. Even for happy, caring, and giving people, not every day is a… Continue reading Not Every Day is Filled with Happiness
What do you do when your world crumbles and turns to dust? When everything you've ever known, or thought you knew is destroyed by actions out of your control? Recently, this happened to my little family. In a big, big way. Our lives were turned upside down by the selfish and unconscionable actions of another… Continue reading When Your World Crumbles