Anxiety can make you feel like you're all alone in a room full of people, while simultaneously drowning you in wave after wave of everyone else's needs and wants. I'm not sure when I first experienced anxiety, but I'm pretty sure I was in elementary school. Possibly as early as first grade. It likely reared… Continue reading I am Human
In January when I prayerfully chose Fellowship as my Word of the Year, I left it up to the LORD to decide how to use it in my life. I never quite expected it to lead me where I am currently. I thought maybe it would envolve me continuing with our small group, or maybe… Continue reading Fellowship
Three days ago we scattered my father's ashes in the Puget Sound. A place he'd always loved. The week leading up to the memorial was rough and emotions ran high with everyone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole thing and keep my father's ashes on my shelf, because as soon as they were removed from their place of honor, lonliness enveloped me. He'd been there since February, a constant companion in my home. It was time to let him go, but I wasn't sure I was ready.
I knew when I started this journey it wasn't going to be easy, but somehow I didn't expect it to be quite so difficult either. My love and Faith in God isn't wavering--it's growing deeper and stronger-- but I'm floundering. For every step in the right direction I take, I seem to take a hundred steps back the way I came. I don't want to be the person I was. I didn't like her much then, and I'm really not a fan of her now.
Even if it makes me out to be "overly-sensitive", I will not confuse my children by participating, or allowing them to participate in something that at the very core marks what is wrong with our society. Words and actions affect people. The date on the calendar doesn't change that.
Since my father passed away, I've been even less social than normal. The thought of getting out of my comfy clothes, brushing my hair, and forcing a smile is almost more than I can handle most days. Monday was particularly hard. It was also the night of our small group study. Most of the day… Continue reading Can Fellowship Heal?
On January 31, 2015, my father passed away. In the last few months he had become someone I didn't recognize--the man with strong convictions and an analytic mind had disappeared. In his place was someone who was angry, and emotional. In all my years growing up I can count on one hand the number of… Continue reading Heal My Heart, LORD
When I chose FAITH, I didn't know how it would affect my life. I just knew that after prayerful consideration I felt led to choose it. Through those five little letters I grew and changed just as the seasons around me did. I learned more about myself, about God, and about the wonderful strength having a little bit of FAITH can bring.