Today is my father's birthday. He's no longer here to celebrate it, but each year on this day, I still say a prayer and send him a wish. It's quiet, and it's ours. Memories Can Be Sweet When I was in junior high and high school, my father and I would get up early in… Continue reading What I Remember: Tea with My Father
God created all of us, and our job is to share His gospel with others. This doesn't mean we're supposed to browbeat unbelievers or malign their name. Our world is currupt enough without turning our faith into a tool of corruption. When we do that, when we use Jesus as a way to bully others, we aren't doing His works, we're doing Satan's.
Today, turning to the LORD hasn't been as spiritually lifting as it usually is. Instead of answers I have more questions. Instead of peace, I have unstoppable tears.
Three days ago we scattered my father's ashes in the Puget Sound. A place he'd always loved. The week leading up to the memorial was rough and emotions ran high with everyone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole thing and keep my father's ashes on my shelf, because as soon as they were removed from their place of honor, lonliness enveloped me. He'd been there since February, a constant companion in my home. It was time to let him go, but I wasn't sure I was ready.
I knew when I started this journey it wasn't going to be easy, but somehow I didn't expect it to be quite so difficult either. My love and Faith in God isn't wavering--it's growing deeper and stronger-- but I'm floundering. For every step in the right direction I take, I seem to take a hundred steps back the way I came. I don't want to be the person I was. I didn't like her much then, and I'm really not a fan of her now.
Some days are easier than others. There are great days, and then there are days when I'd rather never get out of bed again. On those days even sunshine doesn't seem as bright, and I am reminded just how imperfect I really am.
Today would have been my father's birthday. I've been aware of the date my whole life, and for the past few weeks I've seen the date staring at me from the calendar. Up until this morning I hadn't realized it would be so hard to breathe when the day actually arrived. It became very obvious… Continue reading Happy Birthday
I view my relationship with God much the way I imagine the relationship between a gardener and their beautiful garden. I say imagine, because honestly most of my life I've had a black thumb and couldn't keep a cactus alive. Recently though, I've managed to care for a bamboo plant and an aloe plant. Much… Continue reading God’s Garden
When I chose FAITH, I didn't know how it would affect my life. I just knew that after prayerful consideration I felt led to choose it. Through those five little letters I grew and changed just as the seasons around me did. I learned more about myself, about God, and about the wonderful strength having a little bit of FAITH can bring.
Darkness was overtaking me and I felt like I was drowning in a pit with no way to free myself. I needed help in a BIG way.