The second time he deployed, our eldest was a toddler, and that changed everything. His absence was no longer only affecting me, but was affecting a little girl who didn't understand why her daddy wasn't home to tuck her in.
Anxiety can make you feel like you're all alone in a room full of people, while simultaneously drowning you in wave after wave of everyone else's needs and wants.
An ideal day in my world very rarely includes anyone other than my husband and children. I've never been comfortable being in front of a group of people, or really putting myself out there, because 'out there' is a very judgmental place. Why then, do I hear the faint pounding on the door of my… Continue reading Eviction: Comfort Zone!
Three days ago we scattered my father's ashes in the Puget Sound. A place he'd always loved. The week leading up to the memorial was rough and emotions ran high with everyone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the whole thing and keep my father's ashes on my shelf, because as soon as they were removed from their place of honor, lonliness enveloped me. He'd been there since February, a constant companion in my home. It was time to let him go, but I wasn't sure I was ready.
Not long ago my husband and I contemplated purchasing a home, but as we began the process we quickly realized my student loans were going to be a huge (like $72,000 huge) hurdle. This led to our first aha moment. Even though this wasn't really a positive thing for us, and it was a huge disappointment, it came to be a huge blessing.
Some days are easier than others. There are great days, and then there are days when I'd rather never get out of bed again. On those days even sunshine doesn't seem as bright, and I am reminded just how imperfect I really am.
Since the day I got down on my knees and asked Jesus to guide me through this life, to save me from the person I'd become, and to fill me with his Holy and loving Spirit, I've seen my life change before my eyes. Some days are easier than others, but each day brings me… Continue reading God’s Work in My Family
Today would have been my father's birthday. I've been aware of the date my whole life, and for the past few weeks I've seen the date staring at me from the calendar. Up until this morning I hadn't realized it would be so hard to breathe when the day actually arrived. It became very obvious… Continue reading Happy Birthday
Recently I've been thinking about what I'm meant to do with my life. I'm almost finished with my journalism degree (finally!), but I don't know where I'm supposed to go from here. I've got massive student loan debt hanging over my head (and honestly, my husband's head since I stay home and teach our children and he goes to work every day, bending to the ever changing will of his employer--the USMC).
Since my father passed away, I've been even less social than normal. The thought of getting out of my comfy clothes, brushing my hair, and forcing a smile is almost more than I can handle most days. Monday was particularly hard. It was also the night of our small group study. Most of the day… Continue reading Can Fellowship Heal?