It has been a long time since I have written anything more than a shopping list. It has been even longer since I returned to this blog. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to write, because part of me did. It was more that I seemed incapable of stringing words together that would make sense.
Since that last post on curriculum, I’ve given birth to two more children, left the PNW, and followed my husband across the country as he went from active duty Marine Corps to federal law enforcement.
That is a lot of change.
When the move happened, I had every intention of chronicling it here, but something always seemed to get in the way. Generally it was my own depression and anxiety, but sometimes it was a lack of internet while driving through mountains.
Now, nearly eighteen months (and a baby) later, I’ve taken the first steps back into the writing world. To say I’ve missed it is an understatement. The last few years I’ve been a shadow of who I am meant to be. Anxiety has been my constant companion, as well as exhaustion. Everytime I considered writing, I shut myself down, because the little voice in my head kept whispering that I had nothing worth saying.
That whisper was loud and suffocating.
In the last two months there has been visible improvement in my mental and physical health. I’m beginning to feel like more than a fuzzy-brained lump of flesh and bones. There are still days where those feelings come back, but they’re fewer and farther between.
Today, praise God, isn’t one of them.
As I return to this path, I begin a new journey. I pray for wisdom, courage, and peace, not just for myself, but for all who read my words.